Author Brinda Carey talks survival tips. Free yourself from domestic abuse!

Author Brinda Carey

Survivor and Author, Brinda Carey

Guest blog:   Flying Solo was one of my favorite reads of 2012. In this book by Jeanette Vaughan, the protagonist, Nora, came up with an ingenious and thrilling plan which worked for her.   She found a way to escape from a powerful husband and domestic abuse.  I found it fascinating that this was based on a true story. Most women could never pull off that kind of escape, yet it must be done. At the point of separation, the situation can become the most volatile as the abuser feels a loss of control and fights harder to gain it back.

So what steps should a person take to be prepared?  First of all, let me stress that in the case of an emergency, don’t delay leaving if you haven’t completed this checklist! The safety of you and any children you have is the first priority.

That said, start working on this checklist now.

  1. Determine which friends or neighbors you could tell      about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent      noises. If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.
  2. Talk to a friend or family member you can trust and      tell them about your fears and that you are planning a safe escape. Even      if you don’t know if and when you will leave, it is imperative to continue preparing for the day you decide you must leave.
  3. Have important phone numbers nearby for you and your children.  Numbers to have are the police, hotlines, friends, family, and the local women’s  shelter.
  4. Think about the various escape routes in your home just as you would for a fire drill.
  5. If there are any weapons in the house, find a way to get rid of them. At the very least, know where they are and attempt to      lead your abuser away from these areas during an altercation.
  6. Open a bank account or find a safe place to stash money. Perhaps one of your safe people will keep your emergency bag at      their home. Have coins or a prepaid cell or card to use. A charged cell phone will allow you to call 911 even if you do not currently have a      service plan.
  7. Make spare keys to your car, house, and any others you might need, and keep them with your emergency bag.
  8. Request replacement credit cards and bank cards. It is also a good idea to include your driver’s license. You may decide to have      them sent to a friend or family member’s home for placing in your bag.
  9. Make copies of all important papers such as:
    1. birth certificates
    2. social security cards
    3. school and medical records
    4. Car registration
    5. Welfare identification
    6.  Passports, green cards, work permits
    7.  Lease/rental agreement
    8.  Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills
    9.  Insurance papers
    10.  PPO, divorce papers, custody orders
  10. Other items to have in your bag: medicines, personal hygiene items, and extra clothes.
Don't Cry Daddy's Here book on Amazon

A must read for anyone dealing with abuse!

 I hope you found this guest blog, by Author Brinda Carey helpful.   She is a survivor of abuse and sexual exploit from Arkansas.  Brinda had the strength to not only overcome the abuse, but write about it to help others.   Her books and motivational materials can be found on Amazon here.   Her blog is at www.brindacarey.com  She travels the country speaking out to women, reaching out to help them find ways to be strong and survive.   AgeView Press is proud to announce that Belle of Steel number six is Brinda Carey. 

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Do you know some Belles of Steel?

Amelia Earhart flying solo

A dynamic aviatrix is born!

A new weekly feature of this blog will be to highlight the accomplishments of some inspiring women.  Those women who are true pioneers, movers and shakers, and thus Belles of Steel.   Throughout the course of history we have been inspired by these strong, dynamic, oft times ballsy women.   Many dared to test the unthinkable.   Some strived to prove that women could accomplish what men could.   Their actions brought about historical change.    Sometimes the choices they made had devastating consequences personally,  but furthered their cause.  Right now in your head, I’ll bet you can think of at least one.   

They were and are pillars for us all.   We love reading about them and writing about them.  Their antics provide fodder for books, magazines, and movies.  Many are famous and deservedly so.   Florence NightingaleMarie CurieSusan B. AnthonyEmelia EarhartAnnie Oakley,  and Rosa Parks to name a few.   You recognize those names, but what about Belles of Steel that you may not have heard about?   There are plenty of stories that are jaw dropping and phenomenal right in our own backyards.   These women quietly go about changing our world.   Some have reached notariety, but many have not.  

Thus, I am proud to introduce Belles of Steel.   Each week, the accomplishments of one woman who has made a difference will be featured.   Many of these women influenced why Flying Solo , my debut novel was written.   Flying Solo was based on a true story about a woman who most certainly was a Belle of Steel.   Her choice to become an aviator in the 1960s was unconventional within her social stratophere.    Not to mention the actions to which she was willing to resort in order to regain her children.  One of which was stealing a plane!    

Be looking forward to the first installment this week.    If you were influenced by a Belle of Steel, please shoot me an email or tweet.   It might be considered for a segment.     Happy reading this week!